What does autumn signify?

We have entered autumn, here in New Zealand. This is an interesting season when looked at from a spiritual comparison.

This is the season where we let go of that which does not serve us, that which is not aligned with our highest growth. As the trees let go of their leaves, so too should we let got of bitterness, anger, resentment, pain, hurt, and anything else within us which we no longer which to keep. Simply let it go.

It is important to do that because when autumn ends we will enter winter. Winter is the season of going within and rebuilding ourselves in line with our highest potential. We cannot successfully embrace that if we are still holding on to our negative baggage.

Spring, of course, is the first burst of that new growth, that potential.

So, now that you have some idea of how the seasons can truly be a reflection of our own growth, are you will to step forward and make some progress?

Just venting...

Okay, I am going to admit here that being referred to an orthopedic specialist has thrown me and messed with my head.

It started with shoulder pain months ago in two areas, the front of the shoulder and the top of the shoulder (the AC joint). I had physio and acupuncture which both helped—and which I rather enjoyed! Often I had other muscles which decided to come to the party and so they too were dealt with in treatment. I was doing great until I mowed the lawns. The grass was long, the first fertile burst of spring growth, and it was still a little damp, but the bins would be emptied the next day and I knew I wanted the bin empty for the weekend so I could weed the gardens—which would fill the bin again. I mowed, and had to empty the catcher repeatedly. And afterwards, I hurt big time. At 1 a.m. I was tossing back painkillers and went back to bed with a gel ice pack on my shoulder.

It was, I informed myself, time to see a doctor. Maybe they could help me understand what was going on. The doctor was great, but to confirm the inflamed bursa she referred me for an ultrasound and X rays, and prescribed some painkillers—and the painkillers work beautifully!

When I was having the ultrasound done I talked to the lady and so she told me what she was seeing, and pointed out the thickened bursa, and the muscle that was not able to move properly because of the inflamed bursa. She also looked at the AC joint on the shoulder and compared it to the other shoulder. The left definitely had a much bigger carrot shaped gap and one side was higher. That was all I could see, and I did not think it would be a problem.

Two days later my doctor called me, said she had the results, and the bursa was definitely inflamed and thickened, but they were quite concerned about the large gap between the bones in the AC joint and the rough look to the end of one of the bones. She said she wanted to refer me to an orthopedic specialist.

Bugger.

I am now booked in, and see the specialist in a little over a week, but this has really messed with my head. Why? Because as soon as someone tells you that there might be something wrong with the bones, you start feeling phantom aches and pains! And that is exactly what happened. I started to hurt more! I took painkillers, I went to bed with the ice pack, but I could not shut off the worry in my mind. I love learning martial arts, and I am wondering if this problem will one day mean I can’t train, and I am a writer who works at a laptop, so what will happen to my ability to work all day... these worries started filling my head, and I started to feel a bit sad. I haven’t even seen the specialist yet and already these crazy fears were filling my mind. So, I am here, writing what you are reading because I need to talk, to find a way to get this out of my head!

The shoulder hurts with some activities, so I will modify them. Okay, that helps.

I can tell my family and ask that they not leave the heavy pots for me to clean as the lifting hurts my shoulder. I’ve been referred to a specialist so they will take my request seriously. Okay, that helps too!

I can use Wing Chun principles in how I move to take the strain off the shoulder—which will have the added benefit of improving my Wing Chun. That helps too!

I can look at my diet, and try to give my body as much excellent nutrition as possible. That will definitely help!

I do healings on other people, so I will start to do them on myself every night. That will help!

I will discuss this situation with my physiotherapist and ask for exercises that will support the entire shoulder, and then I will do those every day. That is definitely going to help!

I will practice some Wing Chun every day to train my body to use direction, intent, focus of energy instead of simply muscle—it is a fascinating art! This is definitely going to help me!

If I want to be the proverbial picture of health, then I have to see it, to eat in a way that will ensure I achieve it, to think in a way that resonates with good health, and to keep my body in balance physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If my body is trying to tell me something, I will listen to it, and then I will support it though every means I know. If I listen better, it will not need to shout so loudly.

You see, I knew it would help to come here and just talk it through. I feel much better already!

When I sit here and write, I find my answers, I find my calm. And I feel infinitely better now than when I first began to write this entry!

Destruction, death, chaos, anxiety, and worry

What is going to happen next? If this is the ‘one magnitude less’ aftershock that we were told to expect after the Sep 4^th 7.1 magnitude earthquake, then (even though this one was 6.3 not 6.1) perhaps that entire saga is coming to an end? Perhaps that era of our history/present is winding down?

As time passed we did not think the ‘one magnitude less’ would happen, after all five and a half months had passed, and to be honest, many of us probably thought it would come from the same location. Instead it hit hard, and in a different location, right under Lyttelton Harbour, a quarter of the distance away from the Sep quake and half the depth. We got pummelled, there’s no other way to describe it!

We did not expect something so massive and destructive. We considered the September quake and thought that a 6.1 from the same location would not be too destructive, so we thought we—and our city—would all be okay. We did not expect what happened.

The clean up is massive. Liquifaction brought sand/silt to the surface in many places, and if you did not know any better you would wonder why we built on beaches…but these places are nowhere near a beach! They are inland. Then there is the destruction of houses, homes that are torn apart, split in half, wrecked beyond comprehension. The buildings in the city and in Lyttelton, are (to use a very technical term) munted! The CBD (central business district) is going to lose many more buildings as the badly damaged are brought down. There is talk that entire blocks of buildings will have to be demolished. We still do not know if the 22 storey high Grand Chancellor Hotel is going to fall down in a decent aftershock, or whether a controlled demolition will have to take place. None of us want that aftershock, but we also want that building down so that no one is endangered any longer.

Our central business district will never be the same again, but I hope that when it is rebuilt it will be better, more beautiful, more resilient, built upon the combined hopes and love of a city’s people. We have a chance to make a clean start in the CBD. And we have to have a monument or art work somewhere that will forever remind us of the people who died in this disaster. Let us always honour them, and acknowledge that they walked here and were loved.

 As time passes people are going to get upset that things have not miraculously been fixed, that the sewerage system is not already fixed, that their houses are not fixed, that the CBD is still a mess …that nothing is happening fast enough for their liking. But let us all be patient and understand that things take time. Let us find the joy in the simplest of things, and just keep moving forward with love, compassion and patience.

In our fair city I ask this: let there be no room for anger in your heart, no room for frustration, no room for impatience, and not a single thought of uttering a harsh word.

Let kindness be the ‘way’ you live.

What is going to happen next is, to a degree, in our hands, in our hearts and in our thoughts.

We are a city that has been ravaged by the power of this earthquake…and we will honour those who died by building a better city, and being a better people. And we will treat our land with far greater respect and appreciation.

One week after the big earthquake

As I wrote this we were hit by a 4.5 magnitude aftershock.The are continuing, but are lesser in frequency and magnitude.

The 'A' marks where that 4.5 just hit

What has become a new fascination for many is where the aftershocks are coming from. It is not the same location, but rather along what was, until 4.35 a.m. 4^th Sep, an unknown fault line. Now the aftershocks are making clear where that line is, and it is aimed right at Christchurch.

Was there any evidence of such a fault line prior to the earthquake? No. Canterbury Plains are just that: plains. Flat as a pancake! Head west and you will reach the Southern Alps, which is a known and dramatically obvious fault line, but where Saturday’s big one hit, there was absolutely no indication of the existence of a fault line.

This leads to the inevitable and unanswerable question: what other fault lines lie beneath Canterbury, in indeed any other city/land for that matter? Until some magical technology arises that can detect such things, we will only know them when they tell us they are there…generally in the language of an earthquake!

The image below, on the left, is part of the historic arts center, which was the city's first university. There have been areas of damage to these wonderful buildings, but this one intrigued me most. Just was was it that fell off and made the impression in the grass?