Thursday, August 30, 2012

Just venting...



Okay, I am going to admit here that being referred to an orthopedic specialist has thrown me and messed with my head.

It started with shoulder pain months ago in two areas, the front of the shoulder and the top of the shoulder (the AC joint). I had physio and acupuncture which both helped—and which I rather enjoyed! Often I had other muscles which decided to come to the party and so they too were dealt with in treatment. I was doing great until I mowed the lawns. The grass was long, the first fertile burst of spring growth, and it was still a little damp, but the bins would be emptied the next day and I knew I wanted the bin empty for the weekend so I could weed the gardens—which would fill the bin again. I mowed, and had to empty the catcher repeatedly. And afterwards, I hurt big time. At 1 a.m. I was tossing back painkillers and went back to bed with a gel ice pack on my shoulder.

It was, I informed myself, time to see a doctor. Maybe they could help me understand what was going on. The doctor was great, but to confirm the inflamed bursa she referred me for an ultrasound and X rays, and prescribed some painkillers—and the painkillers work beautifully!

When I was having the ultrasound done I talked to the lady and so she told me what she was seeing, and pointed out the thickened bursa, and the muscle that was not able to move properly because of the inflamed bursa. She also looked at the AC joint on the shoulder and compared it to the other shoulder. The left definitely had a much bigger carrot shaped gap and one side was higher. That was all I could see, and I did not think it would be a problem.

Two days later my doctor called me, said she had the results, and the bursa was definitely inflamed and thickened, but they were quite concerned about the large gap between the bones in the AC joint and the rough look to the end of one of the bones. She said she wanted to refer me to an orthopedic specialist.

Bugger.

I am now booked in, and see the specialist in a little over a week, but this has really messed with my head. Why? Because as soon as someone tells you that there might be something wrong with the bones, you start feeling phantom aches and pains! And that is exactly what happened. I started to hurt more! I took painkillers, I went to bed with the ice pack, but I could not shut off the worry in my mind. I love learning martial arts, and I am wondering if this problem will one day mean I can’t train, and I am a writer who works at a laptop, so what will happen to my ability to work all day... these worries started filling my head, and I started to feel a bit sad. I haven’t even seen the specialist yet and already these crazy fears were filling my mind. So, I am here, writing what you are reading because I need to talk, to find a way to get this out of my head!

The shoulder hurts with some activities, so I will modify them. Okay, that helps.

I can tell my family and ask that they not leave the heavy pots for me to clean as the lifting hurts my shoulder. I’ve been referred to a specialist so they will take my request seriously. Okay, that helps too!

I can use Wing Chun principles in how I move to take the strain off the shoulder—which will have the added benefit of improving my Wing Chun. That helps too!

I can look at my diet, and try to give my body as much excellent nutrition as possible. That will definitely help!

I do healings on other people, so I will start to do them on myself every night. That will help!

I will discuss this situation with my physiotherapist and ask for exercises that will support the entire shoulder, and then I will do those every day. That is definitely going to help!

I will practice some Wing Chun every day to train my body to use direction, intent, focus of energy instead of simply muscle—it is a fascinating art! This is definitely going to help me!

If I want to be the proverbial picture of health, then I have to see it, to eat in a way that will ensure I achieve it, to think in a way that resonates with good health, and to keep my body in balance physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If my body is trying to tell me something, I will listen to it, and then I will support it though every means I know. If I listen better, it will not need to shout so loudly.

You see, I knew it would help to come here and just talk it through. I feel much better already!

When I sit here and write, I find my answers, I find my calm. And I feel infinitely better now than when I first began to write this entry!

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