Christchurch earthquake

Where do I even begin to explain what it has been like to live through ANOTHER massive earthquake in Christchurch?

I will begin by telling you that we are now living with a high degree of anxiety and fear. After two massive earthquakes in 5 months, we can no longer expect to not get another massive one, so each time there is a shake, we go into flight mode, ready to run, leap under tables, escape buildings. Big aftershocks will cause further damage, as many buildings and houses are precarious.

When this big earthquake hit, on 22 February, most of us probably thought it was a small jolty aftershock when it began, but it got stronger and stronger and didn’t stop. In my own house, crystals were falling, lamps falling, stereo speakers fell over, pot plants fell, books, ornaments, and all sorts of stuff in the kitchen. Thankfully after the Sep 4^th quake we had already fastened bookshelves and wall units to the walls. I was home with my daughter and as soon as the shaking eased I ran (as best as one could in a still shaking house), grabbed her and we just held on to each other as a big aftershock belted through. We were freaked, but we were okay, and the house was still standing.

Now began the desperate task of trying to get in touch with my son who had been at university when it hit, my husband who works in the central business district, and my elderly father. Lines were overloaded, cell phones weren’t working, and desperation was setting in across the city. My sister reached me to tell me my son had gone straight round to our father’s flat and they were both okay. My husband ran home from the city centre! (It was much faster than trying to drive).

Our concrete block  fence was on a dangerous lean and firemen have since pushed it over. Our chimney is not looking too good, so they roped off the area where it is likely to fall.

As a city…we are devastated, and heart broken. There is a sense of disbelief. We are not back to the way things were after the Sep 4^th quake, we are in a much much worse situation. Over 100 people are declared dead, and over 200 still missing. We are looking at a death toll that may be near, or over, 300. Buildings can be replaced…people’s mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, husbands, and wives cannot. To see a picture of these people in their grief is utterly heartbreaking, and I feel it so deeply for them.

The central business district is a disaster zone. The 22 story Grand Chancellor Hotel is in a dangerous state and will fall in a serious aftershock, or have to be brought down. When it comes down it is going to domino its neighbours. Buildings have collapsed, facades have fallen down and crushed passersby. This quake hit just before 1 o’clock, when people were out for lunch.

Areas of Christchurch will have no water, power or sewerage system for possibly 2-3 weeks. The sewer system is seriously ‘munted’ right across the city. The water system is badly damaged and contaminated. The power company is working hard to get power on to everyone, and will be putting in power-poles  and overhead lines in some places as it is the quickest way to get power to people.

I cannot even express to you how unbelievable all of this feels. We see it on television and in movies. We don’t expect it to happen to us…we don’t expect it to happen to us twice.


(www.robynmspeed.com)

Christchurch Earthquake 22nd Feb 2011

A brief update on our personal situation...

On 4th Sep Christchurch was hit by a 7.1 magnitude Earthquake. Yesterday we were hit by a 6.3 magnitude Earthquake. This one was 5 kilometres away and 5 kilometres deep...thus the destruction has been violent and massive.

Our central business district is a disaster zone, a stage of emergency has been declared.

In our own home we have suffered only mildly. This crack up the chimney as it was after the first hit yesterday, and then after the second big aftershock. The chimney will at some point need to come down, but at this stage it is not a danger unless we get massive aftershocks. The fire dept are under such pressure that we can surely only demand the most urgent work from them.

Another big aftershock and the chimney may come down and take part of the roof and front of the house with it. We have our fingers crossed. This movement has caused minor interior damage, but it is purely cosmetic (as far as we know!)




 
 





Our front fence, which withstood the Sep 4th just fine, was on a lean after the first one yesterday, and then, if you look at the following one you will see the lean after the next big aftershock, and the final picture....well that's after the fire dept guys pushed it down.

 My young uns and our badly leaning fence. And, my first ever graffiti .... I know which I'd written a poem or something motivational!

After a few good firemen, its down.














The following one is our newly fenceless front yard and roped off danger area. We are exposed to the street now, but it's a very open look...and I think it works!

Who am I?

In a world where we are trying to figure out who we are, spiritual transitions throw us into the ‘Who am I?’ question over and over and over again.

So, who am I?

And … do I really need to have a clear grasp on who I am whilst I am in the middle of a spiritual transition?

Is it possible to have a clear grasp on who I am when I keep changing?

The only thing that I really can keep a firm grasp on is this: it is important to love. I may not clearly know who I am in this moment, but I do know that I am love, that I have the capacity to love.

If you imagine a clear white dot in the middle of a chaotic picture, that is me at this time, and that white dot represents that love that I am, as it is the only thing I can grasp and know at this time.

Our sense of identity is so often defined by the world around us, and the people around us, their fears, hopes, dreams, biases, and joys…but when we step outside of all of that, and decide ‘I would like to know who I truly am when I am not influenced by anything or anyone’ we have no idea what the journey will be.

It may be that our lack of sense of identity will throw us into confusion, but that’s okay, since it is all a transitory situation. One step at a time away from the illusion we have portrayed….one step at a time towards who we are becoming. Will we one day clearly be who we truly are?

Well, I wish I could answer that, but I don’t know who that is, and so I don’t know how challenging/easy it would to live that in this world. But I am damn well going to give it a try!!

random thoughts...: Dont' let them get you down

random thoughts...: Dont' let them get you down: "Subjected to the bad moods, frustrations and energies of the people around us, it is really hard to not be affected, to not be plummeted in..."

Dont' let them get you down

Subjected to the bad moods, frustrations and energies of the people around us, it is really hard to not be affected, to not be plummeted into states of unhappiness, depression, and fear. Is there something we can do about this?

Yes. We can own who we are, and accept that “their shit is their shit, not mine!” I don’t care if that makes us look cavalier…I just care that we not continue to live in this sewer of negative energy when it’s not ours!

I witness people facing challenges and difficulties because of what other people are doing, saying, and how they are acting. They get hurt because they take it as a judgment of who they are as a person. I think we need to allow other people to learn from every challenge that arises, and quite frankly, anything that causes a negative emotion, mood, or behaviour to arise within you is an opportunity to ask yourself 'why am I reacting this way, and what is the most positive way I can respond to this situation?' It is an opportunity to learn about who we are.

So, own who you are, as you continue to discover who you are, but accept also that you will change day to day as you continue to grow. It would be my hope that a year from now (heck, even a month from now) that you would be able to say to yourself, I am a better person today than I was a year (or month) ago. I am calmer, more peaceful, happier, and am enjoying life more, and enjoying interacting with the people in my life. 

Life should be about joy. Life should be filled with laughter!

I saw a great quote today “What other people think of you is none of your business.” And you know what? We can’t make all people love and adore and cherish us, it has to come from them! We can’t make them appreciate us – though we can live in a way that gives them something to appreciate.

There will always be people who truly see who we are, who appreciate and love us, and these are the friends we cherish! But there will also be people to whom we are almost invisible, just this background noise, and they will never know us. This, surely, is their loss!

If you cannot see the glory of another person, you should damn well be looking for it!!!! And shame on you if it is staring you in the face each and every day and you don’t even bother to look!

Be true to who you are, knowing that negative behaviour is not who you are!

Happy New Year Everyone!

January the first is always such an interesting day, so full of promise and excitement…and an empty diary.

Every year I experience the same unspoken question: what will I fill this diary with?

So here we are…a new year and an empty diary…

I don’t make new years resolutions, but I do have hopes and expectations of myself, and these I embrace without demand, and without putting myself under any pressure.

I have entered 2011 slimmer, toned, with a better wardrobe, and (most importantly) with a greater understanding of who I am (although I know that this will evolve). At the beautiful age of 47 I came to finally know ME…in all my glory…and it was almost a surprise to meet the real me.

As a writer I expect myself to work harder this year…and so long as we don’t have another big earthquake and relentless aftershocks, I think I can manage that! I know that this is my ‘work’, and I know that the works that I write are not just a part of my journey, but will (hopefully) be a part of your journey. (All I need is a publisher who will say ‘Yes!).

I personally believe we should all use this new year to be greater people, to be more loving, kinder, compassionate, tolerant, understanding, to be greater human beings.

Figuring out who we are

To figure out who we are … we need to let go of all our preconceived notions, and to ignore everything society says.

To figure out who we are, we must stand naked before ourselves, and leg go of everything.

Sounds easy. It is anything but!

How many of the notions we have, about the world, society, and ourselves, are not truly ours? How many are the rules and creations of our society (and church)?

Do any of us truly know who we are?

As children we are taught how to behave, how to dress and how to eat, we are even taught what to wear and what to eat. We are told what is right and what is wrong. And then we start school and we are taught a set of values and rules, we are told what is important, we are taught a system of measuring ourselves against everyone else. We are taught a ‘worldy’ set of values, but we are not taught to learn who we are, to develop a deep understanding of ourselves.

We are not taught to learn about us. We are not encouraged to discover our own passion and taste, we are taught to embrace academia, we are taught to compete against everyone else.

I am not disparaging academia, I am disparaging that we don’t encourage the passion outside of this. I have met so many people who don’t know who they are, who have spent a lifetime trying to be what other people wanted them to be, trying to play a role. This is tragic! I have known women who are in their forties and they are the most magnificent women I have ever known, and yet they do not realise this for themselves, they see only their faults. They were never encouraged (taught!) to discover who they are, to learn how positive values and behaviours may resonate through them and make them feel good or bad, they were not taught that all our passions have value and have a place in this world, and that our passions are our life guidance.

Let me make it clear: we were not all born to be academic geniuses. If we were this would be a black and white world without art, music, sculpture, fashion, makeup, stories, poetry, movies, beautiful gardens, without dancing….and without passion! I don’t want to live in such a world! The reason we all do have such different passions is because these passions and loves make the world!

Every passion is a stroke of colour in the masterpiece of life on Earth!

Don’t let society tell you who you are. And when it comes to the taboo of sexuality, if you are a woman attracted to women, then embrace that about yourself. If you are a woman attracted to both men and women, then embrace that about yourself. If you are a woman attracted to men only, embrace that. Love is what is important, not the sex of the person you feel that love for. To deny love, is to deny a part of yourself, to be dishonest. I am not saying you need to act on it, but at least you can be honest and say ‘yes I do love this person, and I cherish that this love is in my life, but I will not act on it.’ You don’t need to act on everything, but it is often better to acknowledge the existence of your feelings, rather than pretend they do not exist.

If you love roses, but not carnations, embrace that about yourself. If you like to dance around the house, embrace that and dance around the house! If you love to cook, embrace that! If you love to garden, embrace that! If you like dressing sexy because your women friends always tell you how great you look—even though your boyfriend never tells you—then dress sexier for them! (Face it, women ‘get’ women, and men may never fully understand us! It is just the way it is!) Don’t ever feel that your passion has lesser value than anyone else’s passion. Just because one man has a passion for surgery on the human body, and another has a passion for baking, neither is of lesser or greater importance than the other.

Learn who you are, what you love, what fires your passions, how you feel about all the people in your life, how you feel about music. Discover what sets you alight!!! As you make these discoveries you will change, you will find where the joy is, you will feel it burning through you, you will discover your own innate sense of style, (and not follow what everyone else is wearing!). You will evolve. And you will be living the most honest life possible.

Let go of everything, and discover who you are…it will be the most fascinating, and most joyous, passion filled journey you will ever take!