Figuring out who we are

To figure out who we are … we need to let go of all our preconceived notions, and to ignore everything society says.

To figure out who we are, we must stand naked before ourselves, and leg go of everything.

Sounds easy. It is anything but!

How many of the notions we have, about the world, society, and ourselves, are not truly ours? How many are the rules and creations of our society (and church)?

Do any of us truly know who we are?

As children we are taught how to behave, how to dress and how to eat, we are even taught what to wear and what to eat. We are told what is right and what is wrong. And then we start school and we are taught a set of values and rules, we are told what is important, we are taught a system of measuring ourselves against everyone else. We are taught a ‘worldy’ set of values, but we are not taught to learn who we are, to develop a deep understanding of ourselves.

We are not taught to learn about us. We are not encouraged to discover our own passion and taste, we are taught to embrace academia, we are taught to compete against everyone else.

I am not disparaging academia, I am disparaging that we don’t encourage the passion outside of this. I have met so many people who don’t know who they are, who have spent a lifetime trying to be what other people wanted them to be, trying to play a role. This is tragic! I have known women who are in their forties and they are the most magnificent women I have ever known, and yet they do not realise this for themselves, they see only their faults. They were never encouraged (taught!) to discover who they are, to learn how positive values and behaviours may resonate through them and make them feel good or bad, they were not taught that all our passions have value and have a place in this world, and that our passions are our life guidance.

Let me make it clear: we were not all born to be academic geniuses. If we were this would be a black and white world without art, music, sculpture, fashion, makeup, stories, poetry, movies, beautiful gardens, without dancing….and without passion! I don’t want to live in such a world! The reason we all do have such different passions is because these passions and loves make the world!

Every passion is a stroke of colour in the masterpiece of life on Earth!

Don’t let society tell you who you are. And when it comes to the taboo of sexuality, if you are a woman attracted to women, then embrace that about yourself. If you are a woman attracted to both men and women, then embrace that about yourself. If you are a woman attracted to men only, embrace that. Love is what is important, not the sex of the person you feel that love for. To deny love, is to deny a part of yourself, to be dishonest. I am not saying you need to act on it, but at least you can be honest and say ‘yes I do love this person, and I cherish that this love is in my life, but I will not act on it.’ You don’t need to act on everything, but it is often better to acknowledge the existence of your feelings, rather than pretend they do not exist.

If you love roses, but not carnations, embrace that about yourself. If you like to dance around the house, embrace that and dance around the house! If you love to cook, embrace that! If you love to garden, embrace that! If you like dressing sexy because your women friends always tell you how great you look—even though your boyfriend never tells you—then dress sexier for them! (Face it, women ‘get’ women, and men may never fully understand us! It is just the way it is!) Don’t ever feel that your passion has lesser value than anyone else’s passion. Just because one man has a passion for surgery on the human body, and another has a passion for baking, neither is of lesser or greater importance than the other.

Learn who you are, what you love, what fires your passions, how you feel about all the people in your life, how you feel about music. Discover what sets you alight!!! As you make these discoveries you will change, you will find where the joy is, you will feel it burning through you, you will discover your own innate sense of style, (and not follow what everyone else is wearing!). You will evolve. And you will be living the most honest life possible.

Let go of everything, and discover who you are…it will be the most fascinating, and most joyous, passion filled journey you will ever take!